Abouttime's column: Dripping Wet

Now I know what you’re thinking: I chose water aerobics because of the high freckle counts. Actually, CMS assigned this to me. I wanted to do an article on the different types of fabrics that could be manufactured from the variety of flora in the jungle but she thought it was too boring. The “active” mud treatments were considered but we both felt nobody would be interested. Being the intrepid columnist that I am, I analyzed these ladies’ water aerobics like there was no tomorrow.

Let’s start with a fan favorite: in “The Journey Begins” Marguerite is swimming in the river while a caiman is sneaking up on her. Initially, Marguerite is relaxing and getting some good exercise until Roxton appears telling her that a crocodile is sneaking up to her. Always trying to share her wealth of knowledge with her less educated expedition members she informs him that there are no crocodiles in the Amazon, but rather an indigenous species called caiman. Once she realizes that one of said animals is indeed trying to have her for lunch she swims to the river bank and quickly gets out of the water while Roxton jumps in to fight the caiman. This invigorating exercise provides a gentle introduction to the type of workout she can expect for the next few years.

As Roxton is playing with the caiman Marguerite decides that he is taking too long and shoots the predator. Who can blame her? She’s wet and cold and her hair might frizz if she doesn’t take care of it soon. As Roxton climbs out of the water he notices that Marguerite has been hurt. The Sir Spunkmeister comes out of Roxton at this point: his virility has spiked due to fighting the caiman; he has an injured, gorgeous lady in front of him; and her dripping wet body and mussed up hair is now spiking his lust meter.

He sweeps her off her feet, but she will have no part of it – her hair frizzing up by the second, she needs a moment to herself for some curl maintenance. She insists on being put down, so, being the gentleman that he is, he puts her down. Unfortunately, Marguerite’s fitness program has just started. She is unable to land on her feet and instead, lands on her wet tush. Marguerite is infuriated at herself, not Roxton, for not being fit enough to land on her feet (I believe this scene has been greatly misunderstood).

In “Salvation” Veronica demonstrates her swimming skills not once but twice! In the beginning of the episode Veronica saves a little girl from drowning. Veronica uses a mix of freestyle and breast-stroke and it is easy to see why Veronica is able move through the water so quickly. As Veronica dives deeper into the water her outstretched, nubile body rippling with slender and sleek muscles enables our jungle beauty to glide effortlessly through the water. Only Veronica with her superior swimming technique coupled with her tight and shapely body could have reached the girl in time. To bring the girl back she uses the backstroke demonstrating her strength.

Later in the same episode she encounters one of the Aztecs in a fight for her life. As she throws the Aztec into the water, she gets dragged in as well. It doesn’t take Veronica long to turn this guy into caiman food. Her strength and might as the Protector of the Plateau are already starting to shine through.

In “Blood Lust” Veronica demonstrates another aspect of her swimming skills. She and Ned go skinny dipping in the pond. The hot and steamy infatuation between these two mixed with the refreshingly cool water shows how Veronica’s swimming can be a very pleasurable and satisfying sight to behold. One wonders how come it took Ned so much longer to get undressed – he was probably being a gentleman. I wonder why not more of these scenes are put into the show. I think these scenes add a lot to character development by showing the intense and pulsating relationship begging to come out.

In “More Than Human” Veronica bathes and relaxes in the comfort of a waterfall. Normally Veronica has to be ready to respond at a moment’ notice but seeing her unwind underneath the falls is a very comforting scene. Ned stumbled across this beautiful sight – I would have stumbled too!

In “The Beast Within” I think this show should have been renamed to “The Well”. I thought the Veronica and Marguerite storyline was clearly much more important. In this episode they are trapped at the bottom of a well and find a source of water that allows them to float to the top. Both ladies display an impressive degree of strength and stamina by wading in the water until it pushes them to the top of the well. This is to be expected from Veronica, but for Marguerite it is a small miracle.

One very sensuous scene is when Veronica crawls out of the well. I don’t know if it’s possible for a woman to look sexier than Veronica. Every inch of her voluptuous tanned body glistens in the moonlight. Veronica is absolutely breathtaking and gorgeous when she’s wearing a shiny watery sheen all over her body. I believe that if Ned saw her like this once in a while he wouldn’t have any trouble taking the first step; however, I think I’d have a problem just getting words out – hmm, maybe that’s his problem too. The way the moonlight shines off her face, her shoulders, her chest, her breasts, her arms, her stomach, her legs … oh my. I must move on … right after I take a deep breath.

In “Camelot” Marguerite displays a classic projection out of the water with nothing on. The flare of beauty is not only her femme fatale body but the way in which she whips her hair back as she comes out of the water. Marguerite at this point also shows that she has adapted to the plateau and that her swimming skills have improved. The hair whipping demonstrates Marguerite’s exquisite elegance contrasts starkly with the ruggedness of the jungle.

In “Prodigal Father” Veronica and Marguerite get into a catfight in the mud. Now … oh, I forgot, no one is interested in this scene.

In “Phantoms” Veronica again shows us her sweet beauty by skinny dipping in one of the ponds. Now I know this is a little painful, but guys just imagine it is you instead of the psycho piano dude. Veronica is wet, vivacious, and utterly stunning. Her loving way is overwhelming to the senses. More scenes like this are needed to show her developing into a mature and confident woman. To be quite honest her smile is heartwarming as well.

Veronica and Marguerite have shown on many occasions that leisure and fitness activities in the plateau ponds and rivers are an important part of their lives. Since their health and happiness is my sole concern I hope that these activities will increase in the future for their sake.